Planning a wedding can seem daunting, intimidating and downright confusing. It’s also as equally hard to gauge if you need help and when you think this help should begin. In the age of Pinterest, Instagram and blogs- it’s easy to think that you CAN plan your own wedding and it WILL look like all your inspiration pictures you’ve posted on your boards. Social media has a sneaky way of showing you the nice shiny end product, but not the technicalities, logistics and the people behind the scenes you require to get you there. So I’d like to shed some light on one of the biggest misconceptions brides have and why I feel the notion of having just a “day of coordinator” is pretty much in my eyes- a scam. A term that puts a veil over your eyes leading you to believe- I’ve booked all my vendors so I’m basically done my wedding planning because the “Day of Coordinator”will do the rest.
Back 10 - 15 years ago clients either had a wedding planner for the duration of their planning or a day of coordinator, there wasn’t really an inbetween. This was also the time of match your table linens to the color of your bridesmaids dresses… Now, to help you visualize this period of time, this was back in the day when Facebook just started having business pages, Instagram wasn’t really a thing and Pinterest was just launched. Basically, weddings were very simple back then. So naturally a day of coordinator could be reasonably all you needed. But nowadays, perceptions and expectations of brides have completely changed. Now most weddings have complicated logistics, intricate tailored designs, jam packed schedules and twice the amount of vendors to manage than back in 2007. (the year I started planning weddings ;)
I should preface this by saying you DO need a wedding planner on your wedding day. What you DON’T need is someone flying in a week before your wedding to try and organize your details which they can’t completely grasp since they weren’t part of your planning process from the beginning. Here within, lays the problem, and the problem has real repercussions.
Imagine that……. you believe you’ve planned your wedding in full, have finally tied up all those loose ends and are ready to meet with your Day of Coordinator just 7 days shy of your wedding. What you’re not prepared for is your seasoned planner to audit your wedding and provide you a long list of things you need to correct or change before the wedding day- because you forgot this, didn’t consider that and was never told “x”. Now you have a long “to do” list that you can’t quite grasp, can’t understand nor have the time for. Or Even worse- a newbie planner smiles and says nothing and figures “It is what it is, whatever happens- happens, because, hey-I’m not really truly responsible anyways.” It’s sad, but this is a real thing and it can happen to you.
Now let’s keep imagining, because the narrative isn’t over yet……
It’s still the week before your wedding and you start getting messages from those vendors who have been ghosting your emails asking questions you’ve already confirmed, don’t know how to answer, can’t answer or questions regarding logistics you know nothing about. But how could you possibly know you needed to be informed of these things if you’ve never planned a wedding before? So to you, it almost feels like you’re re-planning your wedding all over again. Your vendors have forgotten your details and/or have confused you with another wedding. The anxiety is slowly creeping in because the wedding you worked so hard to plan seems like it’s fracturing. There are so many balls in the air that you don’t know where to start…… But wait, you have relatives flying in, appointments, a dress to pick up, a pending ceremony rehearsal…. and your brain literally stops working. Wait, was there something I was supposed to remember? ….. Where’s that to do list?……… Slowly when anyone asks you about your wedding, you dread the conversation because you just want the day to come and be over with.
Unfortunately what I am telling you is reality. Simply having a day of coordinator is not going to ensure your not stressed during your wedding planning or closer to the day, it does just the opposite- adds a layer of anxiety. A day of coordinator simply makes sure vendors show up and you’re running on time. There is no pre-organization with day of coordinators. I should also note that most planners that feature this service and not a Month Of or Partial Planning service in lieu is probably within their first year or two of business and is limited in their knowledge and aren’t fully equipped to plan a wedding from start to finish.
At the very least you should hire a planner to step in a month or so before your wedding to ensure they are properly briefed on your details while auditing your prior arrangements and take over management of all those final details before your wedding day. I always say- think of your brain like a chalkboard with all sorts of scrambled wedding scribbles. Now after your sit down with your planner a month before your wedding, you can wipe that chalkboard clean and NEVER have to scribble on it again!
Hiring a planner in advance is peace of mind. Priceless. And I can tell you, you’ll only completely understand the full benefits after your wedding day is complete.
Always here for you,
Eliza
xo
Photography by Joel & Justyna